Uneasy

Some people say my expectations are too high...
Others say I do not give off a welcoming vibe...
A few folks say that I'm too difficult to satisfy...
Then there are the people that say I should have been someone's wife!
But the truth is I feel uneasy inside....

I feel like I am either going to be single for the rest of my life or settle for someone that keeps me less than satisfied.

Confidence...

Sometimes a little confidence is all you need to be a winner!
Believing in yourself makes life much easier!
Each stride you take seems a little bit further.
Regret is something you never experience
Because you appreciate the adventure of making mistakes.
You grow with each new experience. Knowing that you can only live for the moment.
And it is in that moment when you realize that you can only be judged through your own eyes.
And that perception is a state of mind, a false reality filled with unsure binds....
Loving one's self does take time. But as the minutes roll by and the seconds fly, you realize....
That the answer you were looking for is really inside.

Stranger

Unclear vision...
Speechless words....
Misguided by the pursuit of happiness...
This life is a constant search....
A search for an identity that is unclear to me...
I ask God every night to guide me to the woman he wants me to be...
I wonder what is really planned for my destiny, because according to my dreams
a bittersweet death awaits me....
And I can not honestly say that this thing called life is for me...
No this is not a thought of suicidal content...
It is more like a confession of a black girl in search of inner peace...
I wonder how can I expect someone else to love or know me?
When I am damn near a stranger to myself...

Tears

I'm looking for an answer to a question I don't see...
And its seems like everyone is happy
Just not me...
Lost at sea... I follow with the wind and march to my own beat.
A bag lady but my hands are free.
Stomach full of food yet I feel so empty.
Pain disguised in tight jeans and polished feet.
Maintaining a persona that I'm not sure is me.
Everyone hears what the blind can't see and the blind sees things that seem not to be reality.
And the truth is, the right seems wrong, and the wrong seem right, when in the end the truth comes out at night.
As cold sweats interrupt the peace of dream land which tortures me.
Misconception and misunderstanding of yesterday left tomorrow unclear and today full of fear.
With no hands it is myself who wipes my tears.

Please don't stop the music!

I'm a complicated melody!
Even I can't catch the beat.
Sometimes it feels like I'm dancing with two left feet.
The club is crowded but on the dance floor its just me...

If

If I were a writer I would write about my pain.
If I could sing a song it would be about how I want to love again!
If I were an artist, my art would be unique. It would tell the stories of my feet and the times my heart failed me.
Yet my music, if I were a drummer would have an amazing beat.
A rhythm that was complicated but top with a vocal composition that made it simple.
If I wrote poetry my lines would never rhyme.
If I were a clock it would always be set to the right time.
If I could rewrite history I would do it with an erasable pen because so much of my life has been far from permanent.

I wish

Sometimes I wish it was you I turned to.
Sometimes I wish it was you holding me at night.
Sometimes I wish it was your voice telling me everything would be alright.
At times I wish it was you at my side.
Sometimes I wish it was you making me cry. Because at times I wish you were there to wipe my eyes.
And I wish it was you giving me a pat on the back.
Sometimes I really wish you would just love me back.

Have you ever?

Have u ever?

Have you ever loved someone with all your heart?
Yet you didn't have much heart to love with.
Have you ever been locked inside the car with the keys in your pocket?
But you were too afraid to unlock the doors.
Better yet have you ever knew the answer to the question but didn't have the strength to solve the problem?
What do you do when you don't want to stay but have no reason to go?
Is it one of those situations where you make lemonade out of lemons?
How can you spend so much time caring only to not care in the end?
Have you ever hit the refresh button on love?
When the last application is still running?
How long can your heart stray before you body follows? And when your mind speaks every thing seems like a hard pill to swallow.
How long can pseudo happiness truly suffice?
How much longer do you fight?
Have you ever felt trapped by a vision of someone else's sight?
Have you ever realized that the lingering pain was the lack of happiness?
Have you ever had to decide to lose a friend or stay in a hopeless relationship?