Why the fuck can't I sleep.
Why can't I cry.
PMS is taking over me.
I just want to die.
Simple words.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Insomnia #2
Every night my eyes fill with water before I drift to sleep.
Yet my tears go un-shed because I do not have any energy.
My mind is racing with thoughts and images of the past that I can't seem to get past.
My heart beats rapidly.
Someone please save me.
I'm being hunted by someone who claims to be me.
An inner being of worry.
Lost and confused.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Without an answer of what to do.
Yet my tears go un-shed because I do not have any energy.
My mind is racing with thoughts and images of the past that I can't seem to get past.
My heart beats rapidly.
Someone please save me.
I'm being hunted by someone who claims to be me.
An inner being of worry.
Lost and confused.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Without an answer of what to do.
I died....
Bag lady.
I've carried the burden of a broken heart for long enough.
It is time to move forward.
It is time to strip away the bondage and confront the truth.
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Well truth is...
I died years ago.
My heart was shattered. And I convinced myself that your piece of tape made it better.
Temporary adhesive from short term lovers led me to believe that life was much better.
Well Truth is...
I died in 6th grade when my "boyfriend" dumped me for the light skin long haired girl I called my best friend.
I died the night I lost my virginity to a "boyfriend" who didn't claim me as a girlfriend because I was a year younger and his real love was in his homeroom.
I died the day I let "mr. summer fling" convince me that he loved me....even though he only said it when he was inside of me.
I died that cold winter night "mr. right" walked on my porch in his dope-boy coat and wheat timbs. He understood me and made me feel like I was beautiful beyond even what my eyes can see. And even though he had a grilfriend, for 6 years I gave him ownership of me.
I died the first day of school (my freshmen year) when I met "my real boyfriend." He was talk, dark, handsome, and mysterious. Iwas dead after he spent a year cheating on me, producing babies with other women, spreading things, yet steadily telling me he will always love me.
I died that day after lunch when "the charmer" bumped into me, and said he had a girlfriend but couldn't imagine his life without me. A whole year I let him kill me. Only to see him marry and build a family with a woman that wasn't me.
I died the morning my unborn child was sucked out of me and the night "mr. father" smacked me. I let him degrade and belittle me. forgetting my worth and quality.
I died the day I seen my "high school sweetheart" kissing the "prettiest junior in the school" at her locker during my senior year of high school. And I let him kill me with guilt of being the woman he should of married as I watched him tattoo the name of his wife on his chest.
I died that hot July day when I realized that my relationship with my first real love (my first girlfriend) was all a lie. I let her lies, mistreatment, and ungratefulness kill me.
I died that first semester of college when I laid on "mr. blu phi" chest ass naked as he asked another girl to be his girlfriend after I had been dating him for 3 months. He killed me as he looked me in the eyes and said that "I wasn't the image he usually goes for with his girlfriends."
I died that day in the laundry mat when "mr. blu #2" told me that he needed to get something off his chest and even though he loved me, he couldn't see himself with me any longer because he loved her sooooo much more.
I died the night i caught my "girlfriend" of a year and a half having sex to her "boyfriend" in my bed. I let her suck all of my money, energy, self confidence, and self worth right out of me.
I died when I let "my king" slip away from me. We were so different, yet so much alike. I died when we let our friendship dissolve into a speechless war of disappointment and confusion.
I died when "mr. blu phi #3" tweeted about his new girlfriend that was not me. It killed me to think that I had given this man so much of my time, heart and energy only to realize that he never felt the same way about me.
I died a long time ago.
Letting new lovers apply tape to my heart. disguising my pain with temporary relief like a five hour energy drink.
I knew I was dead when I felt the leaks grow larger and larger yet I couldn't fill the source.
It was full of empty pain. Running from the truth of my diminishing self worth.
Bag Lady. It's time to set yourself free.
Claim your happiness and inner piece.
I'm dying to live again.
I've carried the burden of a broken heart for long enough.
It is time to move forward.
It is time to strip away the bondage and confront the truth.
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Well truth is...
I died years ago.
My heart was shattered. And I convinced myself that your piece of tape made it better.
Temporary adhesive from short term lovers led me to believe that life was much better.
Well Truth is...
I died in 6th grade when my "boyfriend" dumped me for the light skin long haired girl I called my best friend.
I died the night I lost my virginity to a "boyfriend" who didn't claim me as a girlfriend because I was a year younger and his real love was in his homeroom.
I died the day I let "mr. summer fling" convince me that he loved me....even though he only said it when he was inside of me.
I died that cold winter night "mr. right" walked on my porch in his dope-boy coat and wheat timbs. He understood me and made me feel like I was beautiful beyond even what my eyes can see. And even though he had a grilfriend, for 6 years I gave him ownership of me.
I died the first day of school (my freshmen year) when I met "my real boyfriend." He was talk, dark, handsome, and mysterious. Iwas dead after he spent a year cheating on me, producing babies with other women, spreading things, yet steadily telling me he will always love me.
I died that day after lunch when "the charmer" bumped into me, and said he had a girlfriend but couldn't imagine his life without me. A whole year I let him kill me. Only to see him marry and build a family with a woman that wasn't me.
I died the morning my unborn child was sucked out of me and the night "mr. father" smacked me. I let him degrade and belittle me. forgetting my worth and quality.
I died the day I seen my "high school sweetheart" kissing the "prettiest junior in the school" at her locker during my senior year of high school. And I let him kill me with guilt of being the woman he should of married as I watched him tattoo the name of his wife on his chest.
I died that hot July day when I realized that my relationship with my first real love (my first girlfriend) was all a lie. I let her lies, mistreatment, and ungratefulness kill me.
I died that first semester of college when I laid on "mr. blu phi" chest ass naked as he asked another girl to be his girlfriend after I had been dating him for 3 months. He killed me as he looked me in the eyes and said that "I wasn't the image he usually goes for with his girlfriends."
I died that day in the laundry mat when "mr. blu #2" told me that he needed to get something off his chest and even though he loved me, he couldn't see himself with me any longer because he loved her sooooo much more.
I died the night i caught my "girlfriend" of a year and a half having sex to her "boyfriend" in my bed. I let her suck all of my money, energy, self confidence, and self worth right out of me.
I died when I let "my king" slip away from me. We were so different, yet so much alike. I died when we let our friendship dissolve into a speechless war of disappointment and confusion.
I died when "mr. blu phi #3" tweeted about his new girlfriend that was not me. It killed me to think that I had given this man so much of my time, heart and energy only to realize that he never felt the same way about me.
I died a long time ago.
Letting new lovers apply tape to my heart. disguising my pain with temporary relief like a five hour energy drink.
I knew I was dead when I felt the leaks grow larger and larger yet I couldn't fill the source.
It was full of empty pain. Running from the truth of my diminishing self worth.
Bag Lady. It's time to set yourself free.
Claim your happiness and inner piece.
I'm dying to live again.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Investment
I never believed in regret. But Isn't it ironic that you can give all of your love, peace and happiness to something or someone? Without any guarantee of a full return on your investment.
And the honeymoon is shorter than reality. And you're left standing in a 180 mirror because the only person riding with is the reflection looking back at you?
Then the home that was supposed to shelter you comes crashing down around you?
Because its full of "me and us" and there is only you.
Now you've become a stranger and there is no trust to comfort you.
Your presence becomes faint as your house is repainted in colors that don't flatter you.
So you're racking up the frequent flier miles, finding more happiness living in the guest bedroom. All the while you see your investment becoming water under the bridge.
So beneath the surface your webbed feet are moving frantically with emotion,
while you keep your cool emotionless.
And its funny because in the hype of the moment everyone turns on you forgetting all the good shit you do.
so whenever you're around its only whispers spoken behind you.
This is what your investment has in return for you!
And the honeymoon is shorter than reality. And you're left standing in a 180 mirror because the only person riding with is the reflection looking back at you?
Then the home that was supposed to shelter you comes crashing down around you?
Because its full of "me and us" and there is only you.
Now you've become a stranger and there is no trust to comfort you.
Your presence becomes faint as your house is repainted in colors that don't flatter you.
So you're racking up the frequent flier miles, finding more happiness living in the guest bedroom. All the while you see your investment becoming water under the bridge.
So beneath the surface your webbed feet are moving frantically with emotion,
while you keep your cool emotionless.
And its funny because in the hype of the moment everyone turns on you forgetting all the good shit you do.
so whenever you're around its only whispers spoken behind you.
This is what your investment has in return for you!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Uneasy
Some people say my expectations are too high...
Others say I do not give off a welcoming vibe...
A few folks say that I'm too difficult to satisfy...
Then there are the people that say I should have been someone's wife!
But the truth is I feel uneasy inside....
I feel like I am either going to be single for the rest of my life or settle for someone that keeps me less than satisfied.
Others say I do not give off a welcoming vibe...
A few folks say that I'm too difficult to satisfy...
Then there are the people that say I should have been someone's wife!
But the truth is I feel uneasy inside....
I feel like I am either going to be single for the rest of my life or settle for someone that keeps me less than satisfied.
Confidence...
Sometimes a little confidence is all you need to be a winner!
Believing in yourself makes life much easier!
Each stride you take seems a little bit further.
Regret is something you never experience
Because you appreciate the adventure of making mistakes.
You grow with each new experience. Knowing that you can only live for the moment.
And it is in that moment when you realize that you can only be judged through your own eyes.
And that perception is a state of mind, a false reality filled with unsure binds....
Loving one's self does take time. But as the minutes roll by and the seconds fly, you realize....
That the answer you were looking for is really inside.
Believing in yourself makes life much easier!
Each stride you take seems a little bit further.
Regret is something you never experience
Because you appreciate the adventure of making mistakes.
You grow with each new experience. Knowing that you can only live for the moment.
And it is in that moment when you realize that you can only be judged through your own eyes.
And that perception is a state of mind, a false reality filled with unsure binds....
Loving one's self does take time. But as the minutes roll by and the seconds fly, you realize....
That the answer you were looking for is really inside.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Stranger
Unclear vision...
Speechless words....
Misguided by the pursuit of happiness...
This life is a constant search....
A search for an identity that is unclear to me...
I ask God every night to guide me to the woman he wants me to be...
I wonder what is really planned for my destiny, because according to my dreams
a bittersweet death awaits me....
And I can not honestly say that this thing called life is for me...
No this is not a thought of suicidal content...
It is more like a confession of a black girl in search of inner peace...
I wonder how can I expect someone else to love or know me?
When I am damn near a stranger to myself...
Speechless words....
Misguided by the pursuit of happiness...
This life is a constant search....
A search for an identity that is unclear to me...
I ask God every night to guide me to the woman he wants me to be...
I wonder what is really planned for my destiny, because according to my dreams
a bittersweet death awaits me....
And I can not honestly say that this thing called life is for me...
No this is not a thought of suicidal content...
It is more like a confession of a black girl in search of inner peace...
I wonder how can I expect someone else to love or know me?
When I am damn near a stranger to myself...
Tears
I'm looking for an answer to a question I don't see...
And its seems like everyone is happy
Just not me...
Lost at sea... I follow with the wind and march to my own beat.
A bag lady but my hands are free.
Stomach full of food yet I feel so empty.
Pain disguised in tight jeans and polished feet.
Maintaining a persona that I'm not sure is me.
Everyone hears what the blind can't see and the blind sees things that seem not to be reality.
And the truth is, the right seems wrong, and the wrong seem right, when in the end the truth comes out at night.
As cold sweats interrupt the peace of dream land which tortures me.
Misconception and misunderstanding of yesterday left tomorrow unclear and today full of fear.
With no hands it is myself who wipes my tears.
And its seems like everyone is happy
Just not me...
Lost at sea... I follow with the wind and march to my own beat.
A bag lady but my hands are free.
Stomach full of food yet I feel so empty.
Pain disguised in tight jeans and polished feet.
Maintaining a persona that I'm not sure is me.
Everyone hears what the blind can't see and the blind sees things that seem not to be reality.
And the truth is, the right seems wrong, and the wrong seem right, when in the end the truth comes out at night.
As cold sweats interrupt the peace of dream land which tortures me.
Misconception and misunderstanding of yesterday left tomorrow unclear and today full of fear.
With no hands it is myself who wipes my tears.
Please don't stop the music!
I'm a complicated melody!
Even I can't catch the beat.
Sometimes it feels like I'm dancing with two left feet.
The club is crowded but on the dance floor its just me...
Even I can't catch the beat.
Sometimes it feels like I'm dancing with two left feet.
The club is crowded but on the dance floor its just me...
If
If I were a writer I would write about my pain.
If I could sing a song it would be about how I want to love again!
If I were an artist, my art would be unique. It would tell the stories of my feet and the times my heart failed me.
Yet my music, if I were a drummer would have an amazing beat.
A rhythm that was complicated but top with a vocal composition that made it simple.
If I wrote poetry my lines would never rhyme.
If I were a clock it would always be set to the right time.
If I could rewrite history I would do it with an erasable pen because so much of my life has been far from permanent.
If I could sing a song it would be about how I want to love again!
If I were an artist, my art would be unique. It would tell the stories of my feet and the times my heart failed me.
Yet my music, if I were a drummer would have an amazing beat.
A rhythm that was complicated but top with a vocal composition that made it simple.
If I wrote poetry my lines would never rhyme.
If I were a clock it would always be set to the right time.
If I could rewrite history I would do it with an erasable pen because so much of my life has been far from permanent.
I wish
Sometimes I wish it was you I turned to.
Sometimes I wish it was you holding me at night.
Sometimes I wish it was your voice telling me everything would be alright.
At times I wish it was you at my side.
Sometimes I wish it was you making me cry. Because at times I wish you were there to wipe my eyes.
And I wish it was you giving me a pat on the back.
Sometimes I really wish you would just love me back.
Sometimes I wish it was you holding me at night.
Sometimes I wish it was your voice telling me everything would be alright.
At times I wish it was you at my side.
Sometimes I wish it was you making me cry. Because at times I wish you were there to wipe my eyes.
And I wish it was you giving me a pat on the back.
Sometimes I really wish you would just love me back.
Have you ever?
Have u ever?
Have you ever loved someone with all your heart?
Yet you didn't have much heart to love with.
Have you ever been locked inside the car with the keys in your pocket?
But you were too afraid to unlock the doors.
Better yet have you ever knew the answer to the question but didn't have the strength to solve the problem?
What do you do when you don't want to stay but have no reason to go?
Is it one of those situations where you make lemonade out of lemons?
How can you spend so much time caring only to not care in the end?
Have you ever hit the refresh button on love?
When the last application is still running?
How long can your heart stray before you body follows? And when your mind speaks every thing seems like a hard pill to swallow.
How long can pseudo happiness truly suffice?
How much longer do you fight?
Have you ever felt trapped by a vision of someone else's sight?
Have you ever realized that the lingering pain was the lack of happiness?
Have you ever had to decide to lose a friend or stay in a hopeless relationship?
Have you ever loved someone with all your heart?
Yet you didn't have much heart to love with.
Have you ever been locked inside the car with the keys in your pocket?
But you were too afraid to unlock the doors.
Better yet have you ever knew the answer to the question but didn't have the strength to solve the problem?
What do you do when you don't want to stay but have no reason to go?
Is it one of those situations where you make lemonade out of lemons?
How can you spend so much time caring only to not care in the end?
Have you ever hit the refresh button on love?
When the last application is still running?
How long can your heart stray before you body follows? And when your mind speaks every thing seems like a hard pill to swallow.
How long can pseudo happiness truly suffice?
How much longer do you fight?
Have you ever felt trapped by a vision of someone else's sight?
Have you ever realized that the lingering pain was the lack of happiness?
Have you ever had to decide to lose a friend or stay in a hopeless relationship?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Freedom
I learned something about myself over the last year and a half. And that is I hate and I do mean I hate when people try and boss me around or tell me what to do.
I march to my own beat and pay my own damn bills. Therefore, I do not need another person trying to control me or offering their two cents into my penny bank.
Keep your change, comments, and concerns to yourself. Especially you "know it all" type of people that do not actually know anything! More specially those of you that do not know anything about me, who I am, or what I stand for.
Maybe if you took your head from up your own ass you might be able to learn or listen!
I march to my own beat and pay my own damn bills. Therefore, I do not need another person trying to control me or offering their two cents into my penny bank.
Keep your change, comments, and concerns to yourself. Especially you "know it all" type of people that do not actually know anything! More specially those of you that do not know anything about me, who I am, or what I stand for.
Maybe if you took your head from up your own ass you might be able to learn or listen!
My thoughts of you!
I have no respect for you or anything you stand for. I think you are a liar, a fake, untactful, and flat out rude!
I'm a Realist...
That being said:
1. Greeks live in a separate reality than that of which is real.
2. I am a woman first. And as a woman I don't give a damn about that bullshit you are talking.
3. Humility and Respect are two-way streets.
4. Honesty is a matter of what you consider the truth.
5. At the end of the day....people care about themselves first. So covering your own ass.
8. Brainwashed.
9. You really have to stay true to yourself in all your endeavors.
10. Somethings really get taken way too far....
1. Greeks live in a separate reality than that of which is real.
2. I am a woman first. And as a woman I don't give a damn about that bullshit you are talking.
3. Humility and Respect are two-way streets.
4. Honesty is a matter of what you consider the truth.
5. At the end of the day....people care about themselves first. So covering your own ass.
6. All sisters aren't friends and all friends aren't sisters.
7. Hippocrates.8. Brainwashed.
9. You really have to stay true to yourself in all your endeavors.
10. Somethings really get taken way too far....
??????
How come you love me
but I still feel empty?
How come you think I'm so beautiful
and I can't seem to feel pretty?
How come you respect me?
How can you appreciate something in me, that I don't see?
I just want to be everything you need me to be....
Distracted in the present, stuck in the past, afraid of the future,
how do you deal with me.
Insensitive, too busy, inconsiderate, and driven. But you love me.
but I still feel empty?
How come you think I'm so beautiful
and I can't seem to feel pretty?
How come you respect me?
How can you appreciate something in me, that I don't see?
I just want to be everything you need me to be....
Distracted in the present, stuck in the past, afraid of the future,
how do you deal with me.
Insensitive, too busy, inconsiderate, and driven. But you love me.
Dark Kiss
I miss your scent.
I miss your smile.
I miss your touch.
I miss your kiss.
I miss the tears I cried for you.
I miss the fight of keeping you.
I miss making love to you.
I miss holding on to you.
I miss being affiliated with you.
I miss talking to you on the phone for hours.
I miss running my hands through your hair.
I miss always having you there.
I miss fighting with you.
I wish I had the strength to talk to you. It kills me that we can't be friends.
If you only knew and I really miss being able to tell you.
I miss your smile.
I miss your touch.
I miss your kiss.
I miss the tears I cried for you.
I miss the fight of keeping you.
I miss making love to you.
I miss holding on to you.
I miss being affiliated with you.
I miss talking to you on the phone for hours.
I miss running my hands through your hair.
I miss always having you there.
I miss fighting with you.
I wish I had the strength to talk to you. It kills me that we can't be friends.
If you only knew and I really miss being able to tell you.
Letter to My Ex (s)
Lately something has been tugging at my heart.
I felt I needed to write it out, but I didn't know where to start.
I thought about calling, or text, maybe even writing in your honesty box.
But my pride wouldn't let me! I felt if I opened the door of
communication between us, then I had not only lost the battle but also the war.
Even as my fingers touch the key board I am lost for words.
Let me first say thank you! You taught me so much! You helped me to become the person I am today. I think back on the passion of my youth, and the warmth and comfort I found from being with you. And my heart melts just like your touch used to.
But sure enough the pain from the scars of loving you reminds me that I am better off without you.
Shaking the thought of you is something that I have been unable to do.
I wonder if you think of me as much as I think of you?
When something great happens am I the one you want to run to?
Or when your world is crashing down am I the one you want to turn to?
Sometimes I feel incomplete without you. And frankly I kind of sorta miss you.
And this here is my issue!
I am so much better without you!
I know how to be loved and how to love!
I know what it means to be treated like a queen
As well as have someone give the world for me....
And it scares me....
Because I let you drain me! I gave you the key and you stripped me!
Absorbed the identity I thought was me!
You left me jaded with barley any energy to make.
Tainted. Lonely. Empty. Angry. Wise. Happy.
Thank you for helping me to see my worth.
Thank you for showing me how to shine with my inner beauty.
Thank you for forcing me to be stronger.
Showing me how to love harder and longer.
Thank you for setting me free!
I felt I needed to write it out, but I didn't know where to start.
I thought about calling, or text, maybe even writing in your honesty box.
But my pride wouldn't let me! I felt if I opened the door of
communication between us, then I had not only lost the battle but also the war.
Even as my fingers touch the key board I am lost for words.
Let me first say thank you! You taught me so much! You helped me to become the person I am today. I think back on the passion of my youth, and the warmth and comfort I found from being with you. And my heart melts just like your touch used to.
But sure enough the pain from the scars of loving you reminds me that I am better off without you.
Shaking the thought of you is something that I have been unable to do.
I wonder if you think of me as much as I think of you?
When something great happens am I the one you want to run to?
Or when your world is crashing down am I the one you want to turn to?
Sometimes I feel incomplete without you. And frankly I kind of sorta miss you.
And this here is my issue!
I am so much better without you!
I know how to be loved and how to love!
I know what it means to be treated like a queen
As well as have someone give the world for me....
And it scares me....
Because I let you drain me! I gave you the key and you stripped me!
Absorbed the identity I thought was me!
You left me jaded with barley any energy to make.
Tainted. Lonely. Empty. Angry. Wise. Happy.
Thank you for helping me to see my worth.
Thank you for showing me how to shine with my inner beauty.
Thank you for forcing me to be stronger.
Showing me how to love harder and longer.
Thank you for setting me free!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Single
Today my high school sweetheart asked me when I was lanning on having his children. This man is married with three children!
He has clearly lost it.... but one thing he helped me find was peace....
Peace in the decision that I plan to be single forever! He told me that I just haven't found the "right one"
Well I feel like out of all the different type of people I dated there can not be a "right one"
I am completely okay with the state of being single, as long I love myself there is really no need for anyone else....
He has clearly lost it.... but one thing he helped me find was peace....
Peace in the decision that I plan to be single forever! He told me that I just haven't found the "right one"
Well I feel like out of all the different type of people I dated there can not be a "right one"
I am completely okay with the state of being single, as long I love myself there is really no need for anyone else....
#ThugLife
I just want to give a #shoutout to all the dudes and females (2) I've dated that broke my little heart! Thank you for shattering my heart into pieces, toughening my skin, and sharpening my game! If it wasn't for you ass holes I would have never learned what I know today!
I would like to also give a #shoutout to being made, if it wasn't for my process I would not have learned the definition of humility and letting shit roll off my back!
#shoutout to Rap music for solidifying my defiant behavior!
#shoutout to you hating ass commentators that make things all bad for us up and coming all stars!
#shoutout to living the #ThugLife because I simply don't give a fuck!
I would like to also give a #shoutout to being made, if it wasn't for my process I would not have learned the definition of humility and letting shit roll off my back!
#shoutout to Rap music for solidifying my defiant behavior!
#shoutout to you hating ass commentators that make things all bad for us up and coming all stars!
#shoutout to living the #ThugLife because I simply don't give a fuck!
Confession
I think I love you...
But I know you don't love me...
So I hide behind anything I can reach
a tough wall I built around me
but for you I would take it down brick by brick
I love the pain I see deep in your eyes
I love the tears behind your beautiful smile
I love your skin
I love your strength
I love the way you move
I love your confidence
I love your heartlessness
I love the challenge of you
I love the mystery of you
But most of all I love the real in you
But I know you don't love me...
So I hide behind anything I can reach
a tough wall I built around me
but for you I would take it down brick by brick
I love the pain I see deep in your eyes
I love the tears behind your beautiful smile
I love your skin
I love your strength
I love the way you move
I love your confidence
I love your heartlessness
I love the challenge of you
I love the mystery of you
But most of all I love the real in you
Waterless Tears
Everyday I cry
But I never shed tears
Overwhelming pain
deaf ears
mute words
quenchless thirst
low self-esteem
countless fears
But I never shed tears
Overwhelming pain
deaf ears
mute words
quenchless thirst
low self-esteem
countless fears
Share my eyes
I wish you could know in me what I know
I wish you would see in you what I see
How come you can't see the future I see in us
What is it going to take for success to be defined by us
The complexity of my mind matches
the chaos of your heart
All I ever asked for is a little bit of time
but time after time my application was denied
And you simply pushed me to the side
I feel like you are my soul mate
But you feel like I'm just your sex mate
maybe your friend on lonely days
Or maybe you just feel like I'm nothing
but another stop on your freeway called life
But I know deep down inside
I'm what you need...
I just wish you could see what I see
I know you feel the chemistry
Or maybe I've just been day-dreaming
falling for a fantasy
falling for a dream
I just wish you felt the warmth of my heart
the sincerity of my words
the honesty of my thoughts
the passion of my touch
I wish you would see in you what I see
How come you can't see the future I see in us
What is it going to take for success to be defined by us
The complexity of my mind matches
the chaos of your heart
All I ever asked for is a little bit of time
but time after time my application was denied
And you simply pushed me to the side
I feel like you are my soul mate
But you feel like I'm just your sex mate
maybe your friend on lonely days
Or maybe you just feel like I'm nothing
but another stop on your freeway called life
But I know deep down inside
I'm what you need...
I just wish you could see what I see
I know you feel the chemistry
Or maybe I've just been day-dreaming
falling for a fantasy
falling for a dream
I just wish you felt the warmth of my heart
the sincerity of my words
the honesty of my thoughts
the passion of my touch
Damaged Canned Goods vs. Rotten Fruit
I told my friend that I would buy a damaged canned good over rotten fruit any day. But today I realized something. I'm not buying shit...
Niggas now and days only want one of four things from a female:
Wrong! Niggas will treat you like you are their world for the time you are with them or talking to them, but that is only to give you enough of what you need, to do what they want you to do.
A Damaged canned good is someone who has been hurt before, it's hard to get them to open up to you, it's hard to get them to trust you, its even harder to get them to give you a chance to love them. A damaged canned good looks horrible on the outside (I'm talking persona not looks), but the contents are still just as good! It takes lot of courage and patience to invest in a damaged canned good.
Rotten Fruit, only cares about himself. All the signs point to no, but your are so hooked on the sweet taste of the fruit you try it anyways. But rotten fruit always taste bitter when you bite into it, and it always leaves a nasty after taste.
Niggas now and days only want one of four things from a female:
- Sex
- More Sex
- For her to caress his ego
- Convenience
Wrong! Niggas will treat you like you are their world for the time you are with them or talking to them, but that is only to give you enough of what you need, to do what they want you to do.
A Damaged canned good is someone who has been hurt before, it's hard to get them to open up to you, it's hard to get them to trust you, its even harder to get them to give you a chance to love them. A damaged canned good looks horrible on the outside (I'm talking persona not looks), but the contents are still just as good! It takes lot of courage and patience to invest in a damaged canned good.
Rotten Fruit, only cares about himself. All the signs point to no, but your are so hooked on the sweet taste of the fruit you try it anyways. But rotten fruit always taste bitter when you bite into it, and it always leaves a nasty after taste.
Sucker
Dreams are for suckers
Love is for losers
Hope is for dummies
Dating is a waste of time
Relationships are nonexistent
Good thing I'm resilient
Love is for losers
Hope is for dummies
Dating is a waste of time
Relationships are nonexistent
Good thing I'm resilient
MIA
Heartless...
Yet I feel so much pain
where my heart used to be,
Angered eyes, piercing with heat,
look deep
what do you see
a winter wonderland
because there is nothing
but ice inside of me
meaning I'm freezing
meaning I'm numb
meaning I'm done being dumb
meaning there is nothing left
emotionless sex
empty conversations
dreamless dreams
there is no me....
Yet I feel so much pain
where my heart used to be,
Angered eyes, piercing with heat,
look deep
what do you see
a winter wonderland
because there is nothing
but ice inside of me
meaning I'm freezing
meaning I'm numb
meaning I'm done being dumb
meaning there is nothing left
emotionless sex
empty conversations
dreamless dreams
there is no me....
I'm Back
I have not written in a long time... but today a friend made me realize I should get back to it!
Reading his tweets and blog post made me realize that I keep a ton of thoughts and feelings bottled up inside of me... and maybe if I let them out I can think clearly, sleep better at night, get rid of this agonizing pain in my stomach, or focus on myself and the things I need to accomplish.
That being said, I hope you all have your set belt fastened because you are in for ride! We have a lot of catching up to do.
Reading his tweets and blog post made me realize that I keep a ton of thoughts and feelings bottled up inside of me... and maybe if I let them out I can think clearly, sleep better at night, get rid of this agonizing pain in my stomach, or focus on myself and the things I need to accomplish.
That being said, I hope you all have your set belt fastened because you are in for ride! We have a lot of catching up to do.
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